A tribute to the strong woman I could never have been

We have known each other since we were ten or eleven and have forever remained the best of friends, breaking all conventions of friendship etiquette. No friendship band, no regular calling, mailing, sms-ing, chatting, nothing .. nothing. We never find a bridge between us to cross over, we were always on the same side, yet always on one’s own end. I am writing about her, not to depict the love we share, rather for her unusual strength I admire.

She fell in love sometime during her teens, following the fascination and infatuation which germinated during high school days.  She was beautiful and he truly handsome. She loved him with all her childish innocence. They married after thirteen years of her being in fancy love world with him, which he never knew of. I still remember my friend who literally jumped with joy, when she heard about his marriage proposal. She was so naïve then. The evening before her wedding she whispered to me, that she feels that the marriage would end in a separation.  Still love was strong, and matters fixed and they married.

She being superior to him in talent, skills and caliber – personally, socially and professionally – the male ego haunted her unreasonably, purposely to crush her under the big foot. She had her own style of managing worries, but always stood to her principles and self respect. She continued loving him, getting hurt, silent tears, joy at mending up… more ugly patches and total lack of support from the counter part. Financially and emotionally, she ran the home alone – fathered and mothered her children, held a high profile job, gained a trail of admirers wherever she moved. She was one terrific woman any one would admire.

Well, yesterday she told me that he had beaten her for the first time and that she was going to put the marriage to an end. His act was a show of pent up anger, suppressed irritation at her cool steady unaffected posture in life, and restlessness as a husband who was banished from the mind and body of the woman who had loved him all through her innocent years. She had decided  to ask him to move , as she believes she should feel secure in her own home.

Unfortunately their son had witnessed the damn episode, which they realized after the abuse – physical and verbal was over. I was more affected with this fact and told her to comfort the child by telling him that the fight happened by mistake and that all would be fine. She refused and told me: “If I tell him that, he would consider it ‘okay’ for a man to beat his wife, the lesson he may carry forward in his life. Let him not be so.” I was awed by the morale, strength and far sight in these words of my dear friend. She is indeed right. When I looked out for immediate comfort to the child, she was guiding him into a humane person.

Once the decision of a separation (legally or not ) was declared by her, he is begging forgiveness, willing to undertake any conditions she may put forward. She has none.

The big social issue is, if for once the husband beats his wife, and begs for forgiveness, is it not to be forgiven and forgotten, because after all she is a woman and mind you, the MAN is on his knees!