From the archives – My writings to myself – about motherhood, wife-hood , in love, about marriage and more – I

Just discovered these and posting it on instinct

Joys of motherhood:

  

One Monday night , 11.30

Now I was laughing with my chottu for more than an hour. He s a real ‘cartoon’. Thank God, he seem to have the right amount of common sense mixed with the right proportion of humour sense. I tell him a lot of stories and after a while he starts acting out the main roles in the story. Today looked like his Krishna day, he is calling me 'Yasodha Amma' and is "stealing" butter (and even jam) from the fridge (modern Krishna) eating it and asking me to chase and catch him. Then he would drink milk from the cow(guess whom he makes his cow) and lots more of masthi. We were laughing so much in the bed and then Big Master would remind us about the time. I told him that we are ordinary humans who don't care to see the clock to laugh and cry. He got bugged and pretended to sleep. Then chottu started imitating how his daddy will snore and we started rolling in the bed covering our faces with pillows and laughing into it. Finally a big blast of laughter followed by comments from the father like "both amma and son had gone out of mind" etc. Finally chottu went to sleep and I woke up the father to tell him that I m going out to read. He just stretched his hand to hug me and I also waited for a while. Suddenly smally came crawling, pushed his father away, and told me that he will bite Achan, if he tries to touch me and we started our laughter again. Father was fed up with the entire session and decided to sleep again. Now that my monu dear has slept, I strolled out to scribble the fun. That was one of my happy times.

Another  Tuesday morning.

Small Boss refused to go to school and I also felt bad to sent him when I am available for him. We had a joyful time playing and story telling. I started telling him the childhood stories of 'Naren', Vivekananda and he is familiar now with the name.

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Infatuation

This afternoon, I was reading …. Narendranath Datha, the one and only Vivekananda, my admiration figure. How much I admire this man…. I had even prayed that I get a   son like Vivekananda. I had stayed in Hyderabad for 6 months, when my brother had an accident and he was hospitalized in NIMS, where there was a junior doctor. who looked so much like Vivekanada, who also carried a Bhagavat Gita in his coat pocket… I confess that I got so fascinated with this man(with whom I've never talked, and he might not have even noticed me, a girl of 21 at that time) that I used to wait for him to visit our room, had dreamt about him and even made silent phone calls to him to hear his voice.

Whispers in love

Let me tell you very honestly, given a chance I will definitely kiss your eyes and touch them softly so that I will remember them very well any time I want to. I love u because u look at me and look into my soul. Because you can make  me laugh even when u r not next to me. Because u are my Krishna.. …………            

Only if you can imagine the eternal, non ending, non failing and the purest love one can have towards Krishna, you can understand my love for u….


Loving in my each breath, that s what I m doing now my rascal. Have I ever loved any one so blindly, so meaningfully, so madly, so joyfully, so unconditionally, so childishly and yet so painfully? Positive, the earth is ours, the sky too….

(there is a Part II - dont want to tax the readers!)