Grey Skies

Relationships, whatever may be, are quite a maze of finely entangled sticky strands of facts and emotions; pride and prejudice. Though the base ingredients to keep it going are trust, affection and companionship, I feel it is all about reciprocating the feeling, that one has for the other.  And as matters move further, it is not only about mere reciprocation, but the more complex demand for “only me” and “definitely no other”. Possessiveness. 

This is in all relationships; remember the elder child’s possessiveness over parents, at the arrival of the younger one. But, all of those pass away, because we learn that the same feel can be equally be held towards more than one recipient, be it parent-child or between siblings or friends. 

But there is one grey area, of romance and love where humans cannot let their partner have any similar feeling towards another. At the same time, each person at some point of time or other realize that he/she is pulled in between two strong bonds, probably of varying shades of love, both important and incapable of giving away. It is all so strange that mind acts this way.. going round and round, starting to pounce and again pulled back to where it stood.

I am confused with the possessiveness in me and the freedom I desire. I am glad I am worried. I rather worry, than be unfair and selfish. The freedom I desire in me, I should be able to let him have. And to strike a balance, I cannot give up my freedom too. So my reasonable mind tells me that I flush away the jealousy, insecurity and the possessiveness giants in me. But my heart is so untamed, it flies the way it wants. In the end I am with a heavy heart, enjoying the beauty of the pain and looking at the dark clouds hesitating to pour.