HUGS !

“Hugs & Kisses” has become a default setting in e-communication, so much so that it is used at times irrelevantly and demeaning the sanctity of it. Kisses, I am not bothered much .. one can kiss in a variety of ways, under a variety of circumstances. But a Hug matters much to me, the hugs I have given and taken..as also the ones I fantasize!

I meant truly that hug which I forced upon my colleague, when I sat on the road fallen from a bike, waiting to get up to see for sure that I haven’t a broken leg.

I cherish that innocent hug which my niece gives me at the railway station every year when I go home. And that great big hug from my big brother after a couple of years of silence between us! I enjoy seeing the envy in my sister in law’s eyes, when my (other) brother hugs me tight. When my mom (rarely) hugs me she adorns it with a kiss, when she presses her lips on my cheek and draws her breath in, as if to inhale me into her. Whenever my dad hugged me, I had pulled away for no reason.

My son is growing up and shows signs of disinterest in the cuddling I very lovingly squeeze on him. He pulls away from me, but at times he forgets his growing ego and comes to me and lies on my tummy and hugs me tight. With his little fingers, he touches my abdomen through the lifted edges of my t-shirt.

Whenever I feel uneasy for whatever reason it may be, I just hug my hubby and if he reciprocates, I feel at peace with the world at large – a very protected and safe feel. Many times he pushes me away too, saying ‘you come to me at all odd times’, like rushing to office - hour. I tell him that ‘I haven’t come to you for anything more than a hug’, and forces myself on him, and makes him lose a little more of his time on an extended kiss as well. I don’t have any more innocence with me. Sometimes when I forget the ‘virtues worthy of a wife’ and indulge myself in love with that somebody, to relieve me of the ‘unworthy wife’ feel, I just hug my hubby out of the blue and I guess he knows that too. But I can’t help it both ways.

Then there is this hug which I have treasured for my twin, which I will, when we meet. I am sure both of us will identify the love we have for each other in that hug. He is my solace, for a life time.

I have a dream, a fantasy.. as the song goes.. “to take me through reality..”

How I wish to embrace the man I am in love with, in my mind.. I had never had a chance so far. To press my face on his neck and feel his breath on mine... to rub cheeks with… to hold each other tight and feel the heartbeats... to move away a bit and look into his eyes… crossing the stream of life-s ahead.. to live our love in that single hug, knowing fully well that time is short and this may be the last...