Being a woman is quite a task. Her mind is restless and is constantly in search of a fulfillment which allures her. But then there is this role, which she is expected to uphold in all her relationships and thoughts. If for a day I am free of my restraints -- the mangalsutra on my neck, my son's innocent breath on my bosom, my parents dignity, the integrity my profession demands of and all that -- If only for a day I am freed of all these, what would I do..
I have wild passion submerged deep within me- passion for love, passion for being loved, passion for being touched in ways like never before, passion for happiness, passion for intense orgasmic adventures and passion for being the real sensual woman I am deep within. I would want to explore all of these.
I love being loved. I love the romance coming out of me, with a soft look or touch. I love to hold his hand and sit next to him on a bench overlooking the sea, I do not want the security of a handbag between us on the bench. I love to blush as he looks at me and then my cheeks turning pale as he sings me those lines .. Manithar unarnnu kolkai, ithu manithar kaathal allai, Athaiyum thaandi punithamaanathu ...I love to be a child in his hug, a woman when his face presses into my falling hair. It maybe the momentary passion that drives me yearn for all these.But these are my thoughts I crush down to the bottom of my heart, and not allowing to surface. What is wrong in all these, I wonder. Living for myself is the ultimate truth I evade from.
Commitment is a fake word. I too wear it as a vermilion, as an 'I love you' and 'I am yours' as a routine. If I can think of only one man in my dreams, it has to be a natural trait. It shouldn't be that I stop thinking of a man because I am committed to another. Who said there is the rule of monogamy in love and passion. An honest person may be the most 'immoral' one and the happiest too. If I am true to myself, why should I feel guilty at all. The more I try to meet the moral standards, the more fake and pervert I am turning out to be.
I hate hurting anyone, let alone the one I love. But is not my fake commitment worse than the hurt it costs to keep me true to myself.
I am the biggest fake, I have ever known.
And they say I am a woman !
I have wild passion submerged deep within me- passion for love, passion for being loved, passion for being touched in ways like never before, passion for happiness, passion for intense orgasmic adventures and passion for being the real sensual woman I am deep within. I would want to explore all of these.
I love being loved. I love the romance coming out of me, with a soft look or touch. I love to hold his hand and sit next to him on a bench overlooking the sea, I do not want the security of a handbag between us on the bench. I love to blush as he looks at me and then my cheeks turning pale as he sings me those lines .. Manithar unarnnu kolkai, ithu manithar kaathal allai, Athaiyum thaandi punithamaanathu ...I love to be a child in his hug, a woman when his face presses into my falling hair. It maybe the momentary passion that drives me yearn for all these.But these are my thoughts I crush down to the bottom of my heart, and not allowing to surface. What is wrong in all these, I wonder. Living for myself is the ultimate truth I evade from.
Commitment is a fake word. I too wear it as a vermilion, as an 'I love you' and 'I am yours' as a routine. If I can think of only one man in my dreams, it has to be a natural trait. It shouldn't be that I stop thinking of a man because I am committed to another. Who said there is the rule of monogamy in love and passion. An honest person may be the most 'immoral' one and the happiest too. If I am true to myself, why should I feel guilty at all. The more I try to meet the moral standards, the more fake and pervert I am turning out to be.
I hate hurting anyone, let alone the one I love. But is not my fake commitment worse than the hurt it costs to keep me true to myself.
I am the biggest fake, I have ever known.
And they say I am a woman !
And sometimes a woman has all that you are yearning for and she lets it go only for societal acceptance and the happiness of her parents. She enters the fake commitment.
ReplyDeleteCommitment is the most difficult thing ever. For a woman or for a man.
ReplyDeleteBut a women is expected to get into it. Fake or otherwise.
i felt i wrote it :)
ReplyDelete" A honest person may be the most immoral one and the happiest too..." You said it..!
ReplyDeleteHow I have missed you Pygmalion.......so many hugs and kisses!
ReplyDeleteI hope we get to meet soon.